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[ Don't think I won't, Mizuki snarls, though it ultimately goes unsaid. Were she in better spirits, she would probably think about how there are worse fates than being haunted by a few cute ghost-cats.

He's tainted that now. She largely focuses on the physical, digging, to try to keep giving him the reaction he wants. ]

Oh, we know all about your brain. Doesn't give you an excuse. [ Doesn't make his actions any less abhorrent or illegal, either. ]

Heh. Of course you'd say that. You have no idea what it feels like—

[While she's busy with her hands, he takes the opportunity to invade her personal space (the one method with the highest likelihood of successfully getting her attention — he noticed). Catching the sides of her head between his hands, he tilts her head upwards, to make her look away from her tedious task and back at him.]

To have your own mind poison you.

[Rude. She should at least look at people when they're talking!]

[ Mizuki straightens nervously, her wrist visibly twitching from the effort she exudes not to just deck him. The grave is forgotten as she listens, because for all that she hates that voice now, it is also smooth. She can see how he can use it to manipulate people so easily, even without the benefit of another body at his disposal.

After reflecting on that for some seconds, she clicks her tongue, lifting her arm with annoyance to brush his hand away, more gently than he deserves. ]

Fine. I don't. [ What'd they call it? 'Oxytocin' or something? ] Are you about to tell me?

Tell you?

[He coos, echoing her word choice mockingly.]

I created a whole spectacle for you, and you still don't get it? Even after claiming you know all about my brain? Some investigator you were, if you can't even figure this out. Even Date could do better than that.

[The hand she just tried to brush away is stubbornly back, encircling her slim neck loosely with the help of his other hand; as Saito crouches down closer to her height.]

I was born with a brain disorder, in which my damaged pituitary gland doesn't secrete oxytocin properly. To put it in simple words even you can understand, I can't experience things like love and intimacy the same way most people do. On the flip side, my brain rewards me with large amounts of dopamine and endorphins when I take a life.

[There's not a single shadow of dissatisfaction or regret in his tone during the explanation, as though he's talking about something trivial, such as the weather. In fact, there's even a short laugh from him before he sums up the explanation in even fewer words.]

In case you can't connect the dots even now, I'll spell it out for you. I only feel "happiness" when I'm killing something.

[ What a pretty little speech. She always knew he liked hearing himself talk. She won't interrupt, but he'll be able to see her knuckles tighten through out, shaking like they ache to pummel him. She doesn't take insults easily, but for now, she'll break away from his gaze.

...She thinks about just ignoring him and going back to giving these kittens what they deserve, but she finds herself drawn to his gaze once more in a glare. ]

Just because I know all that doesn't mean I know what it feels like! To have your own mind betray you... You call it poison, so obviously you know how messed up it is.

Why not do something about it? What about an antidote?

[That combination of glare and shaking fists would likely make the knees of those who know of her physical prowess tremble in fear. Still, Saito remains unfazed, even in the face of her threatening aura.]

Think about it this way: would you bother going out of your way to stop something you enjoy with every fiber of your being just because it's considered messed up?

[The pair of hands linger around her neck, more mockingly than threateningly.]

There was no antidote, as far as I knew. No Aiba to supply me with oxytocin and provide temporary relief to dissuade me from giving in to the violent urges. Date was really lucky to have such a reliable partner and caring people around him during the time he was in my body.

[Such is the sardonic conclusion he arrives at; the byproduct of months of piecing information he gained from this very girl, together with fragments of memories that were left in his brain by its previous habitant.]

[ Yeah? she wants to answer, with every fiber of her being. Because I am not messed up? Because— Because I know how to care about people?

But the same way she can't fathom enjoying such a thing, maybe he also can't fathom it. But she also thinks he is just a selfish prick. He goes on before she can settle on a witty enough answer that she's happy with. ]

There was no cure for cancer either. That's what they told Iris. [ Now look at her. Though he wouldn't know that, would he? ] You could've at least tried. It's not like you didn't have your dad's money to throw around.

[As far as Saito's concerned, his dear half sister is dead. That being the first thought to cross his mind, he opens his mouth to make a likewise sassy remark matching hers... Until the mention of his dad's wealth, that is.

There's a mirthless snicker, as though implying there's something fundamentally wrong or missing in Mizuki's argument.]

Ah, yes. I did have my dad's money to throw around, as you put it. But then again, I never saw any problems with killing, not even after I took Manaka's life. My dad probably didn't either, since he only used his money to cover up my crimes to protect his own image. Maybe he did see some value in keeping me around, when I came up with a plan to make us even richer... but saw the perfect opportunity to get rid of me when I went missing after becoming a parasite in Rohan's body.

[A large line of teeth flashes between his lips. As though to further test the extent of her patience, his grip tightens ever so slightly as he finishes his ~~monologue~~ response with the question:]

You know very well how it feels to be discarded by your own mom and dad, don't you?

[ The fact that he never saw the problem happens to be a huge part of the problem. Not that she expects the child of So fucking Sejima to understand. She wants to call him out on this, but when he gets to monologuing, he really gets to monologuing. Her fist tightens.

Is he saying what she thinks he's saying? That they're actually similar?

No matter how ridiculous that seems on the surface, she hates that she can see it. Even more here, on Expiation, where she is alone, rather than their home world. ]

That's not going to work on me again. I am nothing like you! But...

[ Mizuki stops abruptly. In another timeline, perhaps, things are different, and he isn't such a murderous asshole. And Mizuki... Mizuki is normal girl, without her traumatic childhood that gave her powers. With a mom and dad who loved her and took her to Bloom Park, like it should've been.

There's a pause, and her voice softens when she continues. ]

You know, we could've been friends.

[At first, Saito merely blinks in disbelief. Is this brat serious? From the pause and fluctuation of her voice, he deducts that, yes, she is being very serious about the idea. Whether it's the change of subject or the fact she remains impassive in the face of his attempts to rile her up, his hands drop from her neck.]

Technically, we were friends. In the parallel world I came from.

[There's a condescending stress on the expression. She was (is?) one of Iris' best friends, so she likely knows of the theory that lived rent-free in his half-sister's mind.]

During the short time I was a parasite in Iris' body.

[She's free to infer what that last part means... or not.]

[ The release of the hold on her neck gives her more relief than she'd care to admit, though she reminds herself he could overpower him easily. She takes a few easy breaths ruminating on his words as she falls back on her heels a little, eventually making herself comfortable in the dirt.

Parallel worlds. ]

I meant actually friends, where you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not.

And... just what is that supposed to mean, anyway?

[Telling someone to stop pretending to be someone they're not is one of those things in life that is a lot easier said than done. How many people would accept or try to help, let alone want to befriend, a sociopath addicted to taking lives? It's more trouble than it's worth.

Easier to just erase or ban monsters like him from society entirely.]

That's a funny definition of friend. Is that why you snapped when you saw my name on Date's parchment?

[He didn't even do anything too outrageous (by his standards) during the time he was impersonating the other man, to receive that kind of reaction!]

What do you mean, it means exactly what I said, word by word. From your reaction, I take it you never saw it happening? Ah, then again, you did complain about the Sagans accepting Date's decision to wear a mask of my face... [Pfft.] To you, Iris and Hitomi are still alive, aren't they. Iris' "personality" didn't die in your dad's body, and Hitomi's body never blew up. Interesting turn of events.

[ Of-fucking-course that was why!! He knows that's why!! But fine, he wants it to be a rhetorical question, so she'll begrudgingly let him speak uninterrupted. She's basically waiting for him to start making sense, but when she closes her eyes, all she can remember is him, and her metal pipe, wailing on him over and over and over and over.

Intrusive thoughts. Wishful thinking... call it whatever.

Iris...?

Hitomi, blown up?

Mizuki shakes her head. ]

Of course... Of course they're alive! In the only world I know, the only one who blew up is you. You should've never been brought here...

Your sentencing is done. You don't deserve another chance.

Edited 2023-09-05 01:04 (UTC)

[That's it, that's the kind of reaction Saito was fishing for. Condensed, raw anger boiling over; just like when she choked him unconscious. Even if she doesn't show it in her body language this time around, her tone and word choice make the rage underneath the calm surface so obvious it's almost palpable.

And hurling such hurtful words at him right after telling him they could've been friends? This can't get more humorous!]

Hah! [He shifts onto his knees and leans in almost reflexively, grabbing her shoulders.] I knew it! Who was it that killed me, was it Date? Oh, did he make my brain pop like fireworks or what?

[Her condemning words get buried under the sudden exaltation.]

[ Mizuki hardly has time to feel bad about what she's said. She really meant it though, when she said they could've been friends. Even if he makes it hard to see that "timeline.' Her instinct to quick-step back when he reaches for her shoulders is immediate, but when he connects, her hands reach for his in turn. She resists the urge to break his bones, though if Saito tries to move those hands, he'll find it difficult. ]

Stop it! Why the hell are you so excited about this when we're talking about you here...?

[ Like, does he even realize? But also, she hates admitting that he "guessed" right. Though no matter the timeline, given the context, maybe it wasn't difficult to figure out. ]

Date... and Aiba did what they had to do.

[She did not deny his guess. Plus, she did blurt out he was the only one who blew up... and just revealed Date and Aiba did what they had to do. Considering these facts, it doesn't take much for Saito to connect the dots and picture what happened, even with how little of the details she has revealed so far.

There's a minuscule hitch of pensiveness in his grin. But the next moment it returns, spreading a shadow of derangement throughout his entire expression, eyes widening with a glint of gleeful insanity. Rather than trying to break free from her grasp, he grips her shoulders harder as another short fit of unrestrained laughter erupts.]

Haha... Hahaha! Did you see the fireworks, then?! Did you enjoy the show? Come on, you need to tell me more!

[Once again, the words that don't concern him go ignored completely.]

[ The laughter erupts like a volcano. She can feel his arms shaking, and when she inadvertently tries to step back, she feels his hold tightening. It's hard to know whether she even heard all of his questions. Were they even meant to be answered? Would he hear her, even if she did?

She'll allow it for a few seconds. An annoyed growl rumbles beneath her breath, and she finally steps back to free herself with force.

Then slaps him clean across the face. ]

[Saito's head swings to the side when the hand connects with his cheek, the suddenness of the movement snapping him from the trance-like state induced by his own abnormal curiosity and imagination. As though stunned, a couple of seconds pass before he raises a hand to touch where she hit him.

It feels unpleasantly warm. And stings. The fingers curl up against his own cheek.

His head rolls on his neck back towards her direction. The childlike (although aberrant) excitement from just moments ago, gone; replaced by an eerily calm voice and a scowl.]

... What did you do that for?

[ Everything stops. Mizuki finds it harder and harder to keep her hand still, until she balls it into a fist and finally lowers it to her side. She takes some deep breaths, and when nothing else explodes, she'll answer.

Not... that she knows the true answer, really. It was instinct, and she knew it would work. She can always count on her fists—hands. ]

Because you needed it?

[Saito's hand is lowered to his side as he stands to his feet. Yet the curled up fist doesn't dissolve.]

I needed answers from you, not a slap across the face.

[These words carry with them an accusing "what is your damn problem" ring, including a slight tilt of his head to help get his point across — displaying a distinctive, angry redness surfacing on the skin of his cheek.]

Tch. [ Mizuki begs to differ, scoffing at the Look. What is his damn problem? She's faced guys twice as big as him at least... Is she supposed to be scared? Anyway, at least he's not laughing anymore. She doesn't really want to give him what he wants, but she ends up thinking about it anyway when she thinks back.

Did she enjoy it?

...... ]

I was... relieved.

Relieved that a man's brains were blown out right in front of your eyes? You've got worse taste than you let on.

[He looks down at her accusingly; totally judging her. Oh, but wait. Bad news, that lopsided grin is back.]

Or could it be that you secretly enjoyed my fireworks, specifically?

[There's a hint of self-derision that doesn't sound very sincere.]

[ Does he want to have a serious conversation or not?

But no, Mizuki doesn't have to ask. When she sees that lopsided grin, she just knows that's how he is. She looks annoyed nonetheless, however, shooting him a look. ]

It's not that. Maybe at first, I thought I did... but that was just 'cause I knew you couldn't hurt them anymore.

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