[Asking what she meant by that would certainly not yield a worthwhile response, so Saito refrains. He can check for himself later if that's just a bluff. What matters now, that he's succeeded in getting her attention... is keeping it.
The focus finally moves away from the dead kitten. Only for another equally disturbing scene to come into view: an adult cat on top of a pool of blood, a knife still stuck in its belly. From the frantic way its center heaves despite being cut open, the cat is visibly struggling to breathe and keep itself alive. But that life, too, will surely expire soon enough. As did its offsprings'.
Besides that, a barely distinguishable pile of smaller, dismembered cat body parts, can be seen poking out from a corner of the screen.]
Because this is what will happen when I find them.
[ Why did she hesitate? Maybe it was the fact that she could see the focus shifting, and a part of her wanted to see what the fuck he was doing. When the camera movement stops, of course, she is struck with an immediate regret, and there's an audible sound from her mouth as she scrambles to cover it with her hand.
Her stomach churns, and she can taste bile, but somehow avoids throwing up—just barely.
She continues not to give Saito the satisfaction of seeing any of this. ]
[ For a while, there's just silence. There aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how deplorable he is, and the guilt continues to gnaw at her, because this has all been for her attention. If she had just fucking answered him earlier, he might not have resorted to this.
Her fists tighten, and there's the sound of her slamming them into something out of frustration. Something shatters, something else falls, and all the commotion is followed by deep, but unsteady breaths. ]
[Although he stays offscreen, there's audible, triumphant laughter on his end. The recording loses focus and shakes a little before one of his hands come into view. He grabs the writhing cat by its scruff, forcing its head to face the camera. The animal attempts to use whatever life it still has in it to break free, but it only makes Saito's grip intensify.]
Mewzuki... don't use that kind of language with mew, it's scary... let's meet in person so we can talk, meowkay?
[Guess who hasn't felt the sting of euphoria in a while.]
[ Mizuki still refuses to look. It is only then that she realizes, maybe if she had, she could have figured out where he was. Her eyes are still closed to stave off the red seeping into her vision, made only more vibrant by his mocking tone.
What is there to talk about? ]
Stop talking like that and maybe I will.
And stop torturing them! [ Her voice may have raised an octave or... three. For just a second.
[With a "See, she doesn't even care about you" from him, the cat is brusquely released as though it were nothing more than a broken toy with no further use.]
All right, I'll stop. Promise. This is the last one still alive... for now, anyway.
[It's probably in Mizuki's best interest to look now; far in the background, behind his lopsided grin, there are glimpses of a place she has likely tried to wipe from her memory: the peaceful square where he gifted her two pieces of well-concealed deception.]
Remember the place we spent our happiest afternoon together? This alley is not too far from it. Ah, but don't keep me waiting for too long. I might end up breaking my promise.
[If she hurries, she might even make it in time to share with him the exact moment the remaining toy draw its last breath!? Their second date (pfft) can't start in a more special way than that!]
[ She hears that! Mizuki clenches her fist, hesitant to flip her charm back around, because she does care. But she's not going to waste her time or her breath arguing the point. Just thinking of the afternoon in question makes her want to puke now, but she doesn't have the time for that either.
She swallows, allowing a tch and an annoyed growl under breath to escape, which is the last thing Saito will hear before whatever connection they have is cut off. ]
. . . Be right back, I've gotta go kill a man.
[ Probably said to Vi as she stomps out the door, giving the girl no time to respond. She wishes she was serious— As soon as she hits the open air, she dissolves into a blur as she races towards the alley in question.
[When she gets there, he's crouched down over the cat's body, as though expecting her to arrive before his last furry victim's life extinguishes.]
Ah, good. You made it just in time.
[Picking the animal's paw between his fingers, he moves it in a slow wave towards the girl.]
Thank you for coming for meow sake... but it's too late to save mew... be seeing you, Mewzuki...
[Of course, this is also spoken in the same taunting tone as before. Judging by the cat's shallow and slowed breathing, it's obvious there's no saving it anymore, even if she rushed to the best cleric in Aldrip.]
[ God, she can literally feel her blood boiling. All that anger is making it hard to breathe, and she feels like she has to channel it somehow. In that moment, she can think of a million ways she can break his bones, pulverize him, and toss him in the ocean for the fish, but she tries to tell herself to take pity on the fish.
The only thing that ends up happening is that one moment, Saito blinks, and the next moment, Mizuki's used all her energy to close the distance between them. For all the wind that is kicked up in the process, she is somehow gentle, taking the dying cat into her arms. She can feel a wetness at her eyes. Angry tears, perhaps. Total bullshit.
...She stomps on his foot for good measure as she straightens herself, already regretting that she didn't do a LOT worse. ]
Shut up! I told you stop talking like that, now why did you drag me out here?
[Saito recoils from the assault on his foot with a tch, a wince successfully surfacing through the smug grin as he regains his footing. The fact that he can still put some of his weight onto that foot probably means there aren't any broken bones.]
Still, it's a bitter reminder that she likes to get physical not only when she's expressing affection, but also dissatisfaction.]
[It isn't entirely true. But not entirely a lie, either. At the very least, he didn't call her out here to get an excuse to pay Aldrip's clerics a visit over a broken toe or foot. It was because getting under her skin in person is a lot more rewarding; she can't hide her reactions or ignore him as easily.
He makes a small gesture with a hand at the remainders of his other young feline victims before continuing.]
[ It's too late. It's not your fault. There's nothing you can do for them now. Mizuki's hands and her breathing start to appear shaky as she steps back, trying desperately to keep her wits about her and believe what she's saying.
She remains standing. She can't relax around him. ]
[Saito releases a long, pensive hum under his breath, feigning hesitation for a short moment.]
Nothing in particular. Just wanted to talk, like we used to during our family bonding times. Remember that time you even fell asleep on my lap? [Cue the sneering snort.] I could have killed you right there. But, much to my own surprise, I managed to hold back somehow.
[Maybe part of him misses having someone around to bicker with — the closest thing he can ever have that resembles a normal relationship. Or maybe he misses getting under her skin and making her life utterly miserable.
[ Yeah, he would bring that up, wouldn't he. Mizuki can feel her skin crawling, and she feels like she needs several showers. Even thinking about doing that with the real Date. She doesn't explode like he probably wants, but he will see her fingers tense as they slowly clench into fists and then release.
He wants to talk. Just let him talk. ]
Congratulations. [ Flattest tone she can manage. ] Want a gold star?
[Needless to say, he doesn't mean it literally. Or in any serious sense, at all.]
Back when you choked me unconscious... why didn't you take the opportunity to avenge your parents, and kill me? According to your parchment, you're already a mass murderer anyway, so what is just one more life taken to you?
[He'll even gesture towards the cat in her arms for added effect.
Considering how she was averse to taking a life with her how hands, whether be it the preys they hunted for money, or even him; it's likely the crime she's accused of is bullshit. He knows that, but he also knows bringing up the subject of her crime is an effective way to keep getting a raise out of her.]
[ ...Why didn't she, indeed? Mizuki is loathe to admit that it's actually a pretty good question. She remembers wanting to. She remembers thinking how she is better than that, better than him, but what does it matter when the people she's upholding those values for are all stuck back home with a fate that's up in the air?
Something something Schrodinger's cat. Ota would probably know all about it. Fucking nerd. ]
I don't actually enjoy killing like some people. Besides, you shouldn't believe everything you read.
[ Mizuki lingers for a moment before moving suddenly without warning to a grassy area off the path. She kneels down grabs handful of grass, hesitating for a moment, but then...starts violently digging a grave, taking out all of her anger. With the dead cat still in her hand, she does this one-handed like it's nothing at all. ]
[Saito follows her, observing her actions with a hint of curiosity. Why does she care about some stray cat's life — what about it makes it worth mourning for? Did she form an attachment to it out of a misplaced sense of guilt or what?]
Well, I'm sure you would put your superhuman strength to much better use if you had a brain like mine. You wouldn't be bothering with giving that cat a proper grave, either. Speaking of which...
[He gives a nod at the direction of the maimed little ones back in the alley before continuing.]
The others might hold a grudge and haunt you if you don't give them the same treatment.
[ Don't think I won't, Mizuki snarls, though it ultimately goes unsaid. Were she in better spirits, she would probably think about how there are worse fates than being haunted by a few cute ghost-cats.
He's tainted that now. She largely focuses on the physical, digging, to try to keep giving him the reaction he wants. ]
Oh, we know all about your brain. Doesn't give you an excuse. [ Doesn't make his actions any less abhorrent or illegal, either. ]
Heh. Of course you'd say that. You have no idea what it feels like—
[While she's busy with her hands, he takes the opportunity to invade her personal space (the one method with the highest likelihood of successfully getting her attention — he noticed). Catching the sides of her head between his hands, he tilts her head upwards, to make her look away from her tedious task and back at him.]
To have your own mind poison you.
[Rude. She should at least look at people when they're talking!]
[ Mizuki straightens nervously, her wrist visibly twitching from the effort she exudes not to just deck him. The grave is forgotten as she listens, because for all that she hates that voice now, it is also smooth. She can see how he can use it to manipulate people so easily, even without the benefit of another body at his disposal.
After reflecting on that for some seconds, she clicks her tongue, lifting her arm with annoyance to brush his hand away, more gently than he deserves. ]
Fine. I don't. [ What'd they call it? 'Oxytocin' or something? ] Are you about to tell me?
I created a whole spectacle for you, and you still don't get it? Even after claiming you know all about my brain? Some investigator you were, if you can't even figure this out. Even Date could do better than that.
[The hand she just tried to brush away is stubbornly back, encircling her slim neck loosely with the help of his other hand; as Saito crouches down closer to her height.]
I was born with a brain disorder, in which my damaged pituitary gland doesn't secrete oxytocin properly. To put it in simple words even you can understand, I can't experience things like love and intimacy the same way most people do. On the flip side, my brain rewards me with large amounts of dopamine and endorphins when I take a life.
[There's not a single shadow of dissatisfaction or regret in his tone during the explanation, as though he's talking about something trivial, such as the weather. In fact, there's even a short laugh from him before he sums up the explanation in even fewer words.]
In case you can't connect the dots even now, I'll spell it out for you. I only feel "happiness" when I'm killing something.
[ What a pretty little speech. She always knew he liked hearing himself talk. She won't interrupt, but he'll be able to see her knuckles tighten through out, shaking like they ache to pummel him. She doesn't take insults easily, but for now, she'll break away from his gaze.
...She thinks about just ignoring him and going back to giving these kittens what they deserve, but she finds herself drawn to his gaze once more in a glare. ]
Just because I know all that doesn't mean I know what it feels like! To have your own mind betray you... You call it poison, so obviously you know how messed up it is.
Why not do something about it? What about an antidote?
[That combination of glare and shaking fists would likely make the knees of those who know of her physical prowess tremble in fear. Still, Saito remains unfazed, even in the face of her threatening aura.]
Think about it this way: would you bother going out of your way to stop something you enjoy with every fiber of your being just because it's considered messed up?
[The pair of hands linger around her neck, more mockingly than threateningly.]
There was no antidote, as far as I knew. No Aiba to supply me with oxytocin and provide temporary relief to dissuade me from giving in to the violent urges. Date was really lucky to have such a reliable partner and caring people around him during the time he was in my body.
[Such is the sardonic conclusion he arrives at; the byproduct of months of piecing information he gained from this very girl, together with fragments of memories that were left in his brain by its previous habitant.]
[ Yeah? she wants to answer, with every fiber of her being. Because I am not messed up? Because— Because I know how to care about people?
But the same way she can't fathom enjoying such a thing, maybe he also can't fathom it. But she also thinks he is just a selfish prick. He goes on before she can settle on a witty enough answer that she's happy with. ]
There was no cure for cancer either. That's what they told Iris. [ Now look at her. Though he wouldn't know that, would he? ] You could've at least tried. It's not like you didn't have your dad's money to throw around.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cw animal death... take 2
[Asking what she meant by that would certainly not yield a worthwhile response, so Saito refrains. He can check for himself later if that's just a bluff. What matters now, that he's succeeded in getting her attention... is keeping it.
The focus finally moves away from the dead kitten. Only for another equally disturbing scene to come into view: an adult cat on top of a pool of blood, a knife still stuck in its belly. From the frantic way its center heaves despite being cut open, the cat is visibly struggling to breathe and keep itself alive. But that life, too, will surely expire soon enough. As did its offsprings'.
Besides that, a barely distinguishable pile of smaller, dismembered cat body parts, can be seen poking out from a corner of the screen.]
Because this is what will happen when I find them.
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Her stomach churns, and she can taste bile, but somehow avoids throwing up—just barely.
She continues not to give Saito the satisfaction of seeing any of this. ]
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Her fists tighten, and there's the sound of her slamming them into something out of frustration. Something shatters, something else falls, and all the commotion is followed by deep, but unsteady breaths. ]
New question: What the fuck do you want?
cw: some more abuse-y crap and trolling...
Mewzuki... don't use that kind of language with mew, it's scary... let's meet in person so we can talk, meowkay?
[Guess who hasn't felt the sting of euphoria in a while.]
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What is there to talk about? ]
Stop talking like that and maybe I will.
And stop torturing them! [ Her voice may have raised an octave or... three. For just a second.
...... ]
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All right, I'll stop. Promise. This is the last one still alive... for now, anyway.
[It's probably in Mizuki's best interest to look now; far in the background, behind his lopsided grin, there are glimpses of a place she has likely tried to wipe from her memory: the peaceful square where he gifted her two pieces of well-concealed deception.]
Remember the place we spent our happiest afternoon together? This alley is not too far from it. Ah, but don't keep me waiting for too long. I might end up breaking my promise.
[If she hurries, she might even make it in time to share with him the exact moment the remaining toy draw its last breath!? Their second date (pfft) can't start in a more special way than that!]
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She swallows, allowing a tch and an annoyed growl under breath to escape, which is the last thing Saito will hear before whatever connection they have is cut off. ]
. . . Be right back, I've gotta go kill a man.
[ Probably said to Vi as she stomps out the door, giving the girl no time to respond. She wishes she was serious— As soon as she hits the open air, she dissolves into a blur as she races towards the alley in question.
She's there in practically no time at all. ]
akushon tiem
Ah, good. You made it just in time.
[Picking the animal's paw between his fingers, he moves it in a slow wave towards the girl.]
Thank you for coming for meow sake... but it's too late to save mew... be seeing you, Mewzuki...
[Of course, this is also spoken in the same taunting tone as before. Judging by the cat's shallow and slowed breathing, it's obvious there's no saving it anymore, even if she rushed to the best cleric in Aldrip.]
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The only thing that ends up happening is that one moment, Saito blinks, and the next moment, Mizuki's used all her energy to close the distance between them. For all the wind that is kicked up in the process, she is somehow gentle, taking the dying cat into her arms. She can feel a wetness at her eyes. Angry tears, perhaps. Total bullshit.
...She stomps on his foot for good measure as she straightens herself, already regretting that she didn't do a LOT worse. ]
Shut up! I told you stop talking like that, now why did you drag me out here?
[1/2]
Still, it's a bitter reminder that she likes to get physical not only when she's expressing affection, but also dissatisfaction.]
[2/2]
[It isn't entirely true. But not entirely a lie, either. At the very least, he didn't call her out here to get an excuse to pay Aldrip's clerics a visit over a broken toe or foot. It was because getting under her skin in person is a lot more rewarding; she can't hide her reactions or ignore him as easily.
He makes a small gesture with a hand at the remainders of his other young feline victims before continuing.]
They weren't the only ones waiting for you.
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She remains standing. She can't relax around him. ]
About what?
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Nothing in particular. Just wanted to talk, like we used to during our family bonding times. Remember that time you even fell asleep on my lap? [Cue the sneering snort.] I could have killed you right there. But, much to my own surprise, I managed to hold back somehow.
[Maybe part of him misses having someone around to bicker with — the closest thing he can ever have that resembles a normal relationship. Or maybe he misses getting under her skin and making her life utterly miserable.
Who knows.]
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He wants to talk. Just let him talk. ]
Congratulations. [ Flattest tone she can manage. ] Want a gold star?
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[Needless to say, he doesn't mean it literally. Or in any serious sense, at all.]
Back when you choked me unconscious... why didn't you take the opportunity to avenge your parents, and kill me? According to your parchment, you're already a mass murderer anyway, so what is just one more life taken to you?
[He'll even gesture towards the cat in her arms for added effect.
Considering how she was averse to taking a life with her how hands, whether be it the preys they hunted for money, or even him; it's likely the crime she's accused of is bullshit. He knows that, but he also knows bringing up the subject of her crime is an effective way to keep getting a raise out of her.]
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Something something Schrodinger's cat. Ota would probably know all about it. Fucking nerd. ]
I don't actually enjoy killing like some people. Besides, you shouldn't believe everything you read.
[ Mizuki lingers for a moment before moving suddenly without warning to a grassy area off the path. She kneels down grabs handful of grass, hesitating for a moment, but then...starts violently digging a grave, taking out all of her anger. With the dead cat still in her hand, she does this one-handed like it's nothing at all. ]
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Well, I'm sure you would put your superhuman strength to much better use if you had a brain like mine. You wouldn't be bothering with giving that cat a proper grave, either. Speaking of which...
[He gives a nod at the direction of the maimed little ones back in the alley before continuing.]
The others might hold a grudge and haunt you if you don't give them the same treatment.
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He's tainted that now. She largely focuses on the physical, digging, to try to keep giving him the reaction he wants. ]
Oh, we know all about your brain. Doesn't give you an excuse. [ Doesn't make his actions any less abhorrent or illegal, either. ]
b-set tweets my beloved
[While she's busy with her hands, he takes the opportunity to invade her personal space (the one method with the highest likelihood of successfully getting her attention — he noticed). Catching the sides of her head between his hands, he tilts her head upwards, to make her look away from her tedious task and back at him.]
To have your own mind poison you.
[Rude. She should at least look at people when they're talking!]
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After reflecting on that for some seconds, she clicks her tongue, lifting her arm with annoyance to brush his hand away, more gently than he deserves. ]
Fine. I don't. [ What'd they call it? 'Oxytocin' or something? ] Are you about to tell me?
[1/2]
[He coos, echoing her word choice mockingly.]
I created a whole spectacle for you, and you still don't get it? Even after claiming you know all about my brain? Some investigator you were, if you can't even figure this out. Even Date could do better than that.
[2/2]
I was born with a brain disorder, in which my damaged pituitary gland doesn't secrete oxytocin properly. To put it in simple words even you can understand, I can't experience things like love and intimacy the same way most people do. On the flip side, my brain rewards me with large amounts of dopamine and endorphins when I take a life.
[There's not a single shadow of dissatisfaction or regret in his tone during the explanation, as though he's talking about something trivial, such as the weather. In fact, there's even a short laugh from him before he sums up the explanation in even fewer words.]
In case you can't connect the dots even now, I'll spell it out for you. I only feel "happiness" when I'm killing something.
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...She thinks about just ignoring him and going back to giving these kittens what they deserve, but she finds herself drawn to his gaze once more in a glare. ]
Just because I know all that doesn't mean I know what it feels like! To have your own mind betray you... You call it poison, so obviously you know how messed up it is.
Why not do something about it? What about an antidote?
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Think about it this way: would you bother going out of your way to stop something you enjoy with every fiber of your being just because it's considered messed up?
[The pair of hands linger around her neck, more mockingly than threateningly.]
There was no antidote, as far as I knew. No Aiba to supply me with oxytocin and provide temporary relief to dissuade me from giving in to the violent urges. Date was really lucky to have such a reliable partner and caring people around him during the time he was in my body.
[Such is the sardonic conclusion he arrives at; the byproduct of months of piecing information he gained from this very girl, together with fragments of memories that were left in his brain by its previous habitant.]
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But the same way she can't fathom enjoying such a thing, maybe he also can't fathom it. But she also thinks he is just a selfish prick. He goes on before she can settle on a witty enough answer that she's happy with. ]
There was no cure for cancer either. That's what they told Iris. [ Now look at her. Though he wouldn't know that, would he? ] You could've at least tried. It's not like you didn't have your dad's money to throw around.
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